Feeling numb

I feel like there are days when I just feel numb. What does that mean? I just go through all the motions of my daily life, and neither feel happy or sad. The in between feeling of being numb is hard to explain. There are days that I want to be super happy, but I can't, and there are days that I'm feeling blah, but can't break down! As you go through the motions it all becomes part of your routine. The daily highs and daily lows. When you lose a child it's not fixed over night; honestly, it's like a bad wound that will never heal. I'm finding these holidays to be extremely hard, but my emotions and feelings are numb inside. I do my best to go to what I can, be there for my family and friends, and keep myself at bay emotionally. Some people are counting down the days until Christmas. I'm just counting down the days till 2016 so we can start a new year.