Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Mommys Little Sidekick

I have to be honest. Sometimes it is very difficult to go on each day, and sometimes I just want to sit at home and cry. I chose to rarely ever do this, because I still have Logan, and I feel I am the LUCKIEST mommy in the world to have a little boy who loves me so much, and is just so AMAZING. 
Each day I wake up and see this little boy who just loves everything about "me". To be truthful he makes me get up everyday when times are so tough. It's been over 4 months since Sydney passed away, and in that time Logan has become such a sweet, funny, and smart 2 year old. I would be lying if I didn't say he reminds me of Sydney everyday. His gestures, his laugh, his beautiful eye lashes, and of course the personality and vocabulary that has evolved. 
I often get a pit in my stomach and wonder, what would Sydney be like? This  often bothers me a lot. I'll never know and beable to see her grow-up as I do with Logan.
I do all I can to make this little boy happy. I'm scared and often protective of him, but I've always tried to limit my fear, and let him explore. 
When people meet Logan and say, "he is just to cute" or "wow he's amazing" it really makes me feel happy. I could talk about Logan for hours just like I can about Sydney. I couldn't be more lucky to have a better sidekick with me this summer, as I try to make the most out of each day for him, and my family. 
Each day that Logan talks about his sister "Ne-Ne" I can't help, but have mixed emotions. I am so happy that he is remembering the sparkle, but also sad that he doesn't have his "little sidekick" anymore. 
It's tough at times, but Logan seems to just make my heart happy when needed.  I love the memories that were making, and feel so lucky to have such a special little boy who remembers the "sparkle " daily, and who loves his "mama" more than words could say.

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