Monday, August 24, 2015

First day back to school

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the first day jitters, but this time the jitters we're going to be for a whole different reason. How was I going to be going back to work again since Sydney passed away. 
Good news I survived...bad news it wasn't easy; however it was expected. 
I walked into my office again and was greeted with lots of sparkle gifts. This definitely made it a little easier. I think I get a pass for as much "sparkle" as I want. 
It only became hard during the middle of the day when I had to stop what I was doing and take a deep breath. Something came over me as I was decorating my office. I was filled with many mixed emotions. I can't exactly describe the feeling that I had, but it just didn't feel well. I'm worried I won't be the same as I was last year, and began to put a high expectation on myself. All I can do is try and do my best, and knowing that I'll have good days and bad. I just wish I didn't have to go through this.
As I drove home and stopped at Sydneys area, which is also part of my new routine I got upset again. It's like I'm starting all over. I have to be so strong and fight through a new routine again! 
Life isn't easy, and this is definitely very hard. Day one is in the books and I'm ready for day two. I know no one is expecting me to do backflips; however, I will try to bring as much sparkle and shine to the school. Here's to another day when the new routine will get easier over time. 

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