Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Running for Sydney


The last few days have not been the easiest for me, as the grieving process has come over me. I can honestly say that my heart hurts more and more as time goes on, but I'm sure over time it will subside. 
I'm always trying to find new things to release the negative energy that I have inside. I'm a big fan of spinning now at the gym, and recently have decided to try to get into running. I definitely am not going to run a half marathon anytime soon, but there's something about running a few miles with some upbeat music that gets my mind to release the toxins.
Yesterday I decided to go for a run in the morning. I put my pink sneakers on, got my iTunes ready, and was going to sparkle. One of the playlist I had made is called "syds mix" there are only a few songs on it, but they are recent songs that make me think of Sydney: most of them are played at spinning each week so it helps me push myself.
As I left my driveway I said to myself I'm going to do this. I'm going to run for Sydney- a few miles for Syd.
As I hit the 1.5 mile mark I said I'm not going to give up...I had to push myself for Syd, and she wouldn't let me quit. As I hit 2.5 miles my legs began to feel like jello, but I turned the corner of my house, and saw Sydneys garden. I blew a kiss to the sky, put on a great song ( Flo-Rida- How I feel) and I continued on my way. As tough as it was I kept my legs going and didn't want to give up. I was going to run 3 miles a goal that I had set for myself. I let my mind go to the music, and concentrated on the goal- miles for Syd. I turned back down the street and finished my run. I had hit 3 miles. This is something I havent done for many years. 
I was so proud of myself for not giving up, and know that Sydney was watching over me, as I took every step for her.
Things are not easy lately, and I'm sure they won't be for awhile, but yesterday's goal was something that I was happy I accomplished.
 Running and spinning is great for my mind, and heart. When my legs say I can't do it anymore I know I'm running with my heart, and for Sydney every mile I go. 


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