The pain lingers

The combination of the Patriots/Denver rematch and the snowfall from the other day definitely didn't make for an easy day! Why you ask? Just the pain lingering on. The fact that last time we had a rematch Sydney was here, and the last big snow storm a year ago she was waiting for her "brotha" to pull her in the sled. 

No one actually understands how much the pain lingers, and can often feel like its suffocating your heart. It makes me sick to my stomach that we have to deal with this. As we reach her 1 year mark around the corner it's getting harder to take one day at a time. I have my good days and my bad days. Doesn't mean I stay in bed every day, but means I just have a hard time breathing through it all. I'm super lucky that I have such an amazing group of besties, and friends that are family. They let me cry, let me vent, and they often know exactly what to say. 

The highs definitely come with the lows, and I find myself lately at a slight low. I'll be alright, because I have to be. No one will let me fall too hard, because I can't. I've got the love of my little family, my friends, and the sparkle above that helps me each day.