Snow Day without the Sparkle

Some days it takes me a little bit of time to figure out my blog; however yesterday I knew right away what today's post would be about right away from when I woke up. It was snowing, which means we were going to go out and play, but without Sydney. One less child to get dressed, one less child to pull in the sleds, and one less child to chase in the snow. Heartbreaking is pretty much the word that described my immediate feelings yesterday morning. 

As I got Logan ready I found myself angry. Not angry at Logan, but angry because Sydney wasn't there. Last year I used to complain that I'd have to get both kids ready; one would be all set, and then I'd have to do the other. I'd wish more than anything that I was still dressing two, and complaining of how tired I was. 

Logan was all ready to go out, and he absolutely loved it. I paused for a second to regain my strength, took a deep breath , and just looked at the sky and said, "where's Sydney?" She's supposed to be here. 

We ended up going outside twice yesterday. From sled rides to snowball fights we had a great time. We even made "snow angels" for Ne-Ne in her garden, just for her. We tried to make snowmen, but the snow wasn't hard enough. 

We made the best of a snowy day, and tried to power through. I'd say yesterday was another hurdle that we overcame. The first snowfall without Syd. The family time that we had was so important, and the memories were made. 

Here comes the 19th, which won't be any easier, because it will be 10 months. They say it's going to get easier, but truthfully as we get closer to the year mark I find myself more sad each day that she's not here.