Sunday, July 19, 2015

You win some you lose some


Some days are better than others and with each month that goes by it does seem to get easier, but the pain is always there. I've been talking a lot about this weekend. Its my birthday and 4-months since Sydney has been gone. A lot has happened in 4 months and to be honest I never thought I'd be in this place; being strong at times, spreading the sparkle, and making new memories. Each day is different, and with the amazing support system I have I know they will help me get through.
Last night I decided to go out with a few of my besties to the casino and out to dinner. We didn't really have the best dinner, but made up for it at the "Ellen" slot machine. I thought it was the closest thing I was going to get to Ellen- even though it's my goal to get in the audience, or be on her show spreading the sparkle. 
Leaving the Casino I decided to play one more slot machine- a hot pink slot machine. Of course it was so fitting. I didn't win a whole lot of money on it, but just enjoyed the fact it was "pink".
Walking back to my car I was happy that we had so much fun. We didn't win a lot of money, but I had fun hanging out, making memories, and laughing with the girls. Syd was there in many ways yesterday, but finally made her arrival in my car. A little lady bug landed on my Minnie Mouse stuffed animal on my dashboard. It was the perfect ending to a great time. 
Even though I lost a little bit of money it was the experience and the fun I had with my friends. Today won't be the easiest as many days are not; however, I will do my best. I will blow out my candles, spend the day with family, and look for that sparkle in the sky! Here's to the big 32!!

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