My Mini-Me

As I spread the sparkle each day many people that I've never met reach out and tell me how beautiful Sydney was, and how they could tell from pictures and videos how "spunky" she really was. Yesterday I spoke to someone on the phone who never met us, but couldn't stop talking about Sydney: how beautiful she was, how her personality shined, and how she pretty much seemed like her "mommy" even though she never has met me. I asked the lady why, and she said, "it's the positive attitude, the willpower to not let anyone stand in their way, and the ability to just have fun. I thought about her response for a minute after I was done with our conversation. "What would Sydney be like as she entered 2, 3, 4, and years beyond. Then it hit me. I kind of got this pit in my stomach; the feeling that I get when I start to get upset when I think of Sydney. 

She would have been just like me. She was starting to shine personality wise before she passed away, and it's breaks my heart that I won't get to see her personality evolve. I know deep down in my heart that she would have been this determined little individual with so much spunk that could light up the room. She would have been "strong", "creative", "funny" and "determined" just like her mommy.

I think about all the hopes and dreams I had for Sydney and place those in Logan. I can't tell you how much Logan has changed personality wise. He's pretty much a combination of Sydneys traits and his own personality. It's a wonderful feeling to see him laugh, smile, be creative, and just explore.

Each day there is something new, and as Sydneys legacy evolves I will become stronger, and keep her sparkle alive. I know she was starting to look like me, and over time would have been my "mini-me" ; however, all I can do now is make her "proud". It's such an unimaginable feeling to have something that was so precious to you be taken away in a second; however, the strength I get from people who know and have heard about the sparkle helps me get through. I'll do all I can to make Sydney proud, and keep on going even when it hurts.