Thursday, April 16, 2015

If your happy and you know it

Since the night Sydney had passed away Logan was in our room in his crib. This was difficult because both Logan and Sydney were great sleepers and had a great night routine. Shane and I knew that it was very important to get Logan back into his new room, a big boy room that he could call his own. Shane and I had finished his big boy pirate room last week. Since last week we moved Logan back into his room. To be honest this was scary on more than one part. Was he going to be ok on his own? How many times would we check the monitor, and will he sleep?
Since we moved Logan back last week he's had some good and bad nights. I believe the little guy is waking up with little night terrors. He will wake up at times and cry, and then unfortunately call "Ne-Ne" followed by "Ma-Ma" and "Da-Da". We would bring Logan into our room and comfort him.
Last night however was a different scenario. Around 1:00am Logan woke up crying, Shane went into the room to console him. As Shane was rubbing his back the song, "if your happy and you know it started to play" Shane brought Logan into our room and said, did you hear that? I said yeah...where did the music come from. Before I could ask Logan anything he fell asleep. I decided to get out of bed and look in Logans room. I don't know why I was scared, but I was. Where did that music come from? I went through every toy and then made my way to the books. The only thing that played that song was an Elmo book when you pressed a certain button. This book was tucked in the corner. Was Sydney trying to comfort her brother when she knew he was upset, or is she present in Logans room at times, which is waking him up, and making him cry. I will never know;however, what I do know is that this am when Logan woke up I asked him who woke him up last night and he had said, "Ne-Ne". Coincidence I don't belive so at all! Sydney is in this house and is trying to be recognized. In fact she is everywhere we go. I just get a little nervous that Logan is being affected, but not in a bad way. I can't see Sydney, but feel bad that I can't help Logan as he might see her. I guess this is just a part of the twin bond that lives on forever. Logan is doing as great as he can. He is in a routine and is getting all kinds of love from family and friends. Today and every day we think of Syd. My hope is that she is singing "If your happy and you know it" in the skies above, because I know that was her and Logans favorite song. Today I'll smile and play that song, because Sydney would want me to be happy and enjoy life today. That is what I'll try to do today for her and everyday that follows.

1 comment:

  1. Wow....that is amazing. Gave me goose bumps. I believe she is trying to comfort Logan! Or maybe play ;) I hope that Logan sleeps a little better in his new room..night terrors are horrible with little ones...but if it's a visit from Syd...I'm sure in due time he will be more comforted than upset. Always smile is always inspiring...Your doing a great job mama!