Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Cherish Every Moment

Every day since Sydney has left us Shane and I make it part of our routine to go visit Sydney. If you were not able to see where Sydney is she is right in the front row of the cemetery. I know Sydney looks over others as they drive by, looks at the kids across the street at the school, where Logan will be going, and waves to the the town police officers as they drive by and pay respect to her.
Each day that we go see her it gets harder and harder. Some days I might drive by a few times, or will pull up and get out to say hello to her.
It's so difficult to do this. As I walk up to her beautiful spot and straighten out the Minnie and Mickey stone, or place a new plant down it just doesn't seem real. Why has this happened...this is just not fear. As a mom I shouldn't be straightening out a rock on her area, but straightening a bow in her hair instead. 
It's only normal for the pain in my heart to out weigh the strength that I have each day. As I sit here this am with a tear down my face I take a deep breath and fight the pain. Logans sitting next to me watching the IPAD which makes me smile and my heart to feel a little better.
Today might be a rough day and it's ok to have those. I miss her so much and would trade anything to have her back in a flash. The best that I can do as Sydneys mom is to just think of her beauty. Think about those lashes, and that bow, which at times was bigger then her head.
 Life isn't fair at times, and doesn't go at times as you planned. Cherish every moment and take one day a time. I know that Sydney wouldn't want it any other way as she is probably dancing around in a tutu, as the sparkles fly in the sky.

1 comment:

  1. Hugs to you! I can't imagine how difficult each day is. You don't always have to be strong! It's natural to feel the pain...Your amazing and I know will always keep Sydney proud!