Capture the moments

Mama...lets run in the leaves, Logan said to me as we got home yesterday from daycare. Of course I had my phone in my hand to take a few pictures, and capture a moment; however, things seemed different. As I watched Logan run up and down the hill, toss the leaves in the air, and just smile and laugh at me; I began to get a flashback to last fall when Sydney was here. It was Logan and her running together, and me trying to plop them both in the leaves to take a picture. Things were different one year later, and it made my heart sad. Yes, I smiled as I took a selfie with my little man, but also cringed inside as I wished Sydney was there. 

It's often hard to explain the pain that occurs at that moment when I just pause and think of her. People say it's going to get easier, but I'm not sure about that. The memories will continue, but hopefully the pain will subside. I'll cherish the moments that I have, make new memories, and will keep on protecting my heart.