And yesterday it hit me...just like a ton of bricks. I was tired...its been a busy few days as I've had some girl time and then some family time. Lack of sleep and a rollercoaster of emotions can definitely catch up to you. I sat there yesterday and just cried to Shane. I was so just so sad, and even though I really couldn't put my finger on the exact reason it was alright.
I often try to do a lot to fill the whole that's in my heart; however, sometimes when I stop I realize why the whole is actually there- reality check Sydney is not.
At times I hide so much emotion behind that smile, or that picture I just captured. In the end you really can't see the hurt that's inside, and the pain that just sits there like bricks on your chest.
I definitely don't regret all the things I've done lately; however, it's just painful when you have to pause. I've learned that you can't always go 100mph, and you often need to slow down. The problem is slowing down is more painful then you think. It's something that I have to deal with, and something that is going to be with me forever.
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