I think one of the many hard things for me since Sydney has passed away is not being able to see or talk to her anymore. I would do anything just to have her in front of me again to tell her that I love her her, hear that infectious laugh, and those sweet words of mama.
I've learned to adapt and look for the signs of Sydney that are everywhere. I've even had the chance to talk with others who have the ability to hear from Sydney- which is beyond amazing.
They say that little kids and animals have that sense to see loved ones who have passed away. I am a firm believer that Logan can see his twin, and that a good friend of mines daughter can too.
Today I talk about my friends daughter- Little girl M. One day she told her mother that she is having tea with a new friend. Her mother asked her who the friend was and she said, "mom your friends daughter with the blue and white polka dot dress and that red bow." Let it be known that this little girl hadn't met Sydney before and when her mother showed her a picture of Sydney is her famous little picture she said, "yup that's her." To know that this little girl can see, speak, and hear from Sydney it is the closest thing to me of Sydney.
As the weeks went on I was eager to hear from this little girl again. I couldn't wait to hear what she would say. She would tell her mom that; "Sydney says she loves us, and that she loves her brother." This was just amazing. Some people might not believe this, but I mean what 4 year old can say this stuff. You really can't make it up.
I think the biggest moment was the other day when this little girl saw Shane for the first time. She gravitated right toward Shane on the 4th of July as we we're at the same party. I bet others didn't notice the connection that I did with this little girl and Shane, but I sure did. Somehow I believed that this little girl was coming through to make Shane smile, make him laugh, and feel the love from Sydney that was coming through this little girl. I bet more than anything that Sydney had told her to spend time with her daddy, and make her feel happy.
There's a really special bond that is occurring from this little girl who can talk to Sydney, and Shane. The other night when we said goodbye I got a message from this little girls mom that melted my heart.
It said:
Little girl M: is it ok to love your friends?"
Mom: Yes
Little girl M: Good. Shane's a friend right?
Mom: Yes
Little girl M: Good...well I love him
This was just the best to hear this. I really find this so amazing. With every message or sign I see from this little girl or around others it really helps my heart heal.
Lastly, this little girl brought back the reassurance of lady bugs. Her mom didn't know that lady bugs are very special to me as well and others of Syd. This little girl saw a lady bug the other day and named it "sparkle" when her mother asked her what the name was. She then told her mother that:
" ladybugs fly to heaven and talk to Sydney and then fly down here
to say hi"
I'm writing about these little moments today, because I can only hope that others will continue to believe, see signs of Sydney, and get to feel the love that I have endured from this sweet little girl .
As I wake up every day I notice the little things, and look for those special signs. They are everywhere, and I know my little baby girl Sydney is doing her best to show the world how amazing she is one sparkle at a time.
Keep those signs coming baby girl, and enjoy your new friendship with Little Girl M: daddy and mommy really love it.
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