Some days are better than others and with each month that goes by it does seem to get easier, but the pain is always there. I've been talking a lot about this weekend. Its my birthday and 4-months since Sydney has been gone. A lot has happened in 4 months and to be honest I never thought I'd be in this place; being strong at times, spreading the sparkle, and making new memories. Each day is different, and with the amazing support system I have I know they will help me get through.
Last night I decided to go out with a few of my besties to the casino and out to dinner. We didn't really have the best dinner, but made up for it at the "Ellen" slot machine. I thought it was the closest thing I was going to get to Ellen- even though it's my goal to get in the audience, or be on her show spreading the sparkle.
Leaving the Casino I decided to play one more slot machine- a hot pink slot machine. Of course it was so fitting. I didn't win a whole lot of money on it, but just enjoyed the fact it was "pink".
Walking back to my car I was happy that we had so much fun. We didn't win a lot of money, but I had fun hanging out, making memories, and laughing with the girls. Syd was there in many ways yesterday, but finally made her arrival in my car. A little lady bug landed on my Minnie Mouse stuffed animal on my dashboard. It was the perfect ending to a great time.
Even though I lost a little bit of money it was the experience and the fun I had with my friends. Today won't be the easiest as many days are not; however, I will do my best. I will blow out my candles, spend the day with family, and look for that sparkle in the sky! Here's to the big 32!!
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