Happy Birthday Mommy

Turning another year older sure wasn't easier this year with out Sydney, but like always I did my best to look for the sparkle, and spend the day with my family as we hit the 4 month mark.

I had high hopes of a sparkle overload yesterday, but knew that Sydney was probably going to do a few little things as she has been leaving her signs all weekend. 

We got up bright and early and went to breakfast, but before we went to breakfast we stopped by Sydneys area. I told Shane about the ladybug that was there the other night, and said I wonder if it's still her. I looked at the Minnie Mouse, and then looked at Sydneys area and all of a sudden Shane says, " look at your window". Right on my window was the ladybug crawling around. Now some people might say a coincidence, but I don't believe that. Sydney knew that her mommy needed a sign bright and early. I took the ladybug, and showed Logan. His reply was, "mama a Ne-Ne bug". The ladybug flew around in the car as we drove away. That's pretty much all I really needed was to see that ladybug, and it was a good start to the day. 

We finished breakfast, and then went to the beach. I was so excited to show Shane how happy the beach makes Logan. As he splashed, built sand castles with Daddy, and looked for crabs I couldn't help but sit back for a minute and just smile. This is what makes me happy even though my heart aches at times. The sun was shining, and Logans laugh carried throughout the beach. Logans laugh is pretty much the same as Sydneys was, which makes me smiles.

The day ended with the perfect hotpink cake. It was filled with butterflies and of course said, "sparkle".

When I picked up the cake the lady said to me, "I wasn't sure if you'd be happy with all this pink. I've never covered a cake in hotpink frosting before." My reply was, "it's just perfect...lots of pink".

Of course this lady didn't know me, because coming from me you can never have enough pink and sparkles. 

As I blew out the candles and held Logan very tightly I did think of Sydney and joe I wish she was in my other arm. It hurt and definitely stung; however, I knew she was there. Another year older, and I made my wish. Of course I can't say my wish or it won't come true; however, my hope is that the rest of 2015 will be a better year, and as I blow out the candles next year I hope new memories will be made, we remember the old, and more sparkle will be spread overtime. 

Thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes.