"Slow down Heather", or "you might be doing too much Heather" is what I hear quite often lately. The only problem is when I slow down my mind starts to relax and all I can think about it is my baby girl. All I can think about is how she is not here with me. I've trained myself to go full force, because it helps me cope with the pain that lies within. Even when I had a massage a few days ago I tried to quiet my mind, but in that hour span of being relaxed all I could think about was the nightmare I live with every day. Telling me to slow down makes perfect sense, but ultimately it's more painful to stop as I have to power through the pain each day. I've learned to balance my work, home life, friends and family and Sydney's fund the best I can. I know I've hit some bumps in the road, and that is ok. I'm bound to have a few bumps when balancing life and grieving daily.
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