Life doesn't always go as it seems, and at any moment I can be set off by the smallest thing. Friday night I was already having a tough night, but it got worse when Shane and Logan decided to have guys night watching Avengers. I couldn't help myself, but I became really sad. I was upset that Logan and Shane were hanging out as guys, and I didn't have my little girl with me anymore to have some girl time. I always envisioned what life would have been if Sydney was still here. I'd have some quality girl time and Shane would have boy time, and then we would switch. It would have been perfect. Since I was already in a bad mood I couldn't control myself, and just cried and cried. Sometimes a good cry is all I need. I remember saying to myself, "I just wish Sydney was here", and wiping away the tears.
I heard Ne-Ne's truck moving in the living room when I was wiping the tears away. It's not abnormal for her truck to go off, but this time it was going in complete circles. Round and round it went faster and faster until I just went over and held it. I knew this was Sydney's way of having her girl time with her mama. This got me to stop crying and to reflect. I looked at her picture, and kissed it good night. I'm so sad that Sydney is not here everyday, but find it really special that she came to visit for some girl time.
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