My sparkle is low

And all of a sudden I got to my boiling point today and just started to cry...why...I'm not sure? Every little thing was just piling up. I guess I never really realized how much these upcoming holidays would affect me. I've always tried to be strong, but unfortunately I'm running out of strength lately...some could even say "my sparkle is low".

I find Thanksgiving to be the first real holiday that I know we will be affected. Truthfully I see a downhill spiral until Jan 1st. I don't know how people do this when they lose a loved one; old or young. 

I just can't get the negative thoughts out of my head lately. They all come together in full force until I'm ready to explode. There's no way around it, and I'd rather be truthful! I'm having a hard time with these holidays, and I'm not sure what will make it better. 

These next few months will test my strength, and my ability to hold on to what I've instilled. I really hope the sparkle shines so bright, because this momma needs all the strength she can get.