I'm just tired

There are days when I have so much energy and days were I feel like my body is collapsing. How can I be so tired if I got 8 hours of sleep and had a large coffee? I know why...I have a constant weight on my chest each day, and my mind is ALWAYS thinking about Sydney who is not here. I'm just so tired and keep on pushing along. I wake up everyday and go about my daily routine, but feel so physically defeated. My heart aches, my body aches, and can't forget about my head that is constantly in overload. On the outside all might seem ok, but on the inside I'm hurting. 

I'm not sure when the pain will go away, and know that somedays are better than others; however, for now it's worth sharing about what I'm going through on the inside and outside each day.