Trying to find the sparkle

Yesterday was a hard day. I woke up in the morning and felt my heartache. I was sad and mad all at the same time. I did what I usually do and get up and power through; however something was different yesterday. As I powered through my morning my heart still was hurting tremendously. I thought to myself about the roller coaster of grief: your body changes from day to day, or even hour to hour. Yesterday I was just upset. I usually get really upset when I stop and think about how "unfair" life really is? Why this had to happen to us, and why something so precious, so perfect was taken away from us!

People ask us if we know why...not yet..we just don't know. They say it takes time, and I'm ok with that, because honestly nothing will bring her physically back to us. I believe that's why I was sad yesterday. The part of not having her back physically that kills me everyday. It's that little moment that I cherish so much, and would do anything to just hold her, and Logan together again. A double trouble hug I would call it!! Nothing is better than a double hug...double the hug...double the love!

Although my heartached so much yesterday I did my best to move forward, find the glitter, and of course the bows. The signs are everywhere and they are seen at the right moment. How about how one of my nails just had a touch of sparkle to it...just enough sparkle that when I looked at it In the light I saw Sydney. What about the new collection at Kohls...Minnie Mouse! If anyone was going to pull this off it had to be me. I tried on bow shirts, to Minnie shorts, and a Minnie dress. The Minnie dress one of course. There was something about the red dress with the bows on it that screamed Sydney. 

It's hard for people to understand how I'm actually feeling; however most people who know me by now just listen and encourage the signs of Sydney. I woke up today with still a broken heart; yet I look at the sparkles, let my heart heal, and take one step forward. It so so hard but I'm trying to let the sparkle shine on.