Mommy I don't feel well

"Mommy I don't feel well" are the words that you least want to hear from your child. Ever since the night Syd passed away the trauma and fear of going through an ER experience again is pretty scary. Last night I found myself in a situation that brought back more fear and  elevated my anxiety. Logan woke up around 11pm not feeling well and coughing so much that he was gasping for air. Shane and I did all we could to stay calm as I rushed Logan in the car and off to the ER we went. As I sat in the ER room with Logan I couldn't help but have flash backs to that awful night that our baby girl was taken so quickly from us. Logan was sent home with medicine and we were on our way home. 

I feel like everything that happens to Logan now is made worse than it probably is do to our past and history with the unknown of Sydney.

As I spent today with Logan snuggling him and playing Dr Mom I tried to focus on the little things. The fact that he wanted nothing more than to just snuggle with his mommy all day, and love me to pieces. I sure was sleep deprived from last night but the sweet words from his little voice, "mama I love you" made it all better. I wish more than anything I could snuggle Sydney again. I know as we go through our new life there will be more times that my mind and body is pushed to the limits. All I can do is be strong, keep on going, and be the best mommy I can be.