I often have long stretches of good positive days, and often days that I'm just sad. People will often ask, "why is it a bad days"? My reply is usually the same, and I say, "it's just one of those days". What does that mean...it means I just think of my little baby girl during the day and get so upset that she's gone. I'll be driving home and bam it just hits me.
As I pull up to her bench and then her area I start to cry. Is she really really gone?How did this happen right before my eyes?
Being honest is often hard for others to hear. Today I'm being honest. It stinks, and it's awful, and my heart hurts. Yes... I can be super positive and sparkle each day, but deep down underneath my sparkle is that broken heart that always pokes through.
I know this weekend will be good as Sydney Craven Memorial Fund will be promoting the sparkle at autumn-fest, but I'm also looking ahead, and wondering how I'll feel days after a full day of promoting.The pain often subsides and comes right back. It's not reality at times, and sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream.
There are better days than others and I know things will continue to take time. Yesterday I was sad for no reason. I just missed her, and can't believe she's really gone.
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