Just Breathe

There are days when it's so easy to talk about Sydney and my heart fills with joy, and then there's days when I can hardly breathe, because reality sets in and it takes my breath away. 

The pain you endure when you "grieve" is something that can never be explained unless you unfortunately experience it yourself. There are days when the pain is small, and the memories take away the pain, and days that the pain is so big, you often stop yourself in your tracks.

As each day goes on I really wish we never had to go through this. To be quite honest the pain is so hard at times, and the smallest thing can set you off. Yes...I couldn't be more prouder, happier, and beyond excited about the sparkle that is being spread; however, it's only normal of me to reflect back to the hurt that lies inside. 

As I take one day at a time I've learned to breathe slower, take a breath when needed, and let myself power through the pain. No one should ever have to go through this, because it's purely UNFAIR. 

Life is filled with unexpected reasons, and no one knows why. I think of Sydney every day, every minute, and every second, and ask myself "why"?

The answer...I'll never know, but one thing is for sure is that I'll try to be strong, and do the best I can. I'll take a deep breath, power through the pain, and always remember to spread that sparkle.