A picture filled with emotions

As many people know already I'm really into taking a picture and making a memory that will last a lifetime. One of the hardest things I've had to grasp lately is the reality that some of the pictures I've taken in the past with Sydney will come back again, but this time she won't be part of it. Some of these moments break my heart as yesterday's did.

Last year Shane and I took the twins to see Shanes fathers grave; his father passed away when he was younger, and we both wanted to make sure the twins new about their grandfather even though he wasn't here. I remember the day very well; it actually was Fathers Day. Both Sydney and Logan wernt scared as they both sat near the stone, and played with the turtle on top, as I snapped a photo to create that memory. 

As I snapped that photo I never in my wildest dreams would have thought a year from now Shane would be visiting his dads grave again, but without our baby girl this time, and to make things even harder the fact that her brother, mommy, and daddy have to visit her grave area.

A special moment that was made last year had to turn into a bitter sweet moment as Shane took Logan yesterday back to where they were a year ago. Shane spent some daddy-son time, as they visited his father and grandfather to Logan.

I asked Shane to take a picture even though I wasn't there. Shane sent me a few pictures, and I asked him how he got in some of them. He said there was a nice man who offered to take a few pictures, talked to him about his dad, and how cute Logan was. 

I thank that man for being there to take that picture of a moment that was filled with mixed emotions. The smile I got to see Logan and his daddy spending a special moment together, but then that moment of reality that our baby girl wasnt there. 

I know most people have mixed emotions of bringing kids to cemeteries, but for us we want to make it part of Lgoans life. We don't want him to be scared, and want him to visit his sister often. We want him to point across the street and say that's my sister from his school, or even riding by continuing to say: Ne-Ne.

Often it is hard to look back on a memory that was created by taking a picture, but that memory was taken for a reason. I'm glad I can look back on these hard memories and smile and cry at the same time. Even though Syd wasn't there in that picture physically yesterday I know she was there somewhere: whether it be that pink bow, or the sparkle that was shining in the sky; she was there.